Anxiety, Depression & the Christmas Funk

http://theoatmeal.com/blog/black_friday2016

The link is for any family members that are considering a gift for me, hint, hint kids…
The “Nope” coffee mug is just my style, plus it has a cat on it! My kitty coffee mugs are too tall for my Keurig. The Starry Night w/Cat is also very attractive. The “Tesla > Edison” T-Shirt would work very well for Colin too.

The last few days have been tough to awful. Today I had to hide & cry, nothing in particular I think, but the Holiday’s don’t help. Per the Pharmacist I should start taking the anxiety/depression medication in the morning, it’ll help with all of the sleep I’ve been missing. Back to the Holiday’s. I’ve no money, not literally but nearly. So I can’t buy what I want for the kids, or what they need. I want to give, I enjoy it, and it bothers me that I cannot. So, when I join/see the other family members at X-mas with empty hands, I feel bad again. I’m not religious, I’m not anti-religious other, meaning I don’t demean or belittle other folks belief, unless they have it coming; however, X-mas day is one of my favorite days of the year. I enjoy watching the little kids get and play with their toys. I enjoy being the Uncle that is always requested to help put stuff together with them. We use to go out to the movies, mostly to get out hair of the folks who are cleaning and prepping the house for the next batch of family coming over. Now, or at least as recent as last year or the year before, I watch the Doctor Who: Christmas Special with the kids or kids-at-heart.

Maybe next time I’ll organize my thoughts better, just kind of slapped this one up and it shows.

 

 

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Quality True McMansion Plan

So an Ex-wife of mine told me that if I don’t put out in to the universe, then my desire for, whatever, is less likely to be realized. Sensible in cosmic sort of way. I’ve also been relentlessly entering myself in HGTV home give-away. While I’m really not likely to win, here’s what I’d trade for a Craftsman Style home in Ann Arbor. A little home, not a micro something small, the house has a 21′ x 21′ footprint without the fancy garage.

I’d like to put as much “green” or energy efficient technology in on and around the house as possible. Tesla just announced a new roofing line of tiles that are solar cells! Cool.

first-floor

2nd-floor

garage

stairwell

Catching Up, End of Nov 2016

Veteran’s day was a blast again, played two courses and all of the veteran freebies were doled out by very pleasant people; we were always given or asked if we wanted anything above and beyond their corporate overlords mandate. The one thing was bumping in to another Vet, recently ETS from service. So freshly released he still had the brainwashed tough guy act solidly in place. He didn’t need anything free, “I don’t need handouts”. There was absolutely no use in explaining the psychology of enjoying the day. However, if another soldier/vet reads this here’s why ‘taking advantage’ of the freebies is good for all. Beyond some free food for us vets, employees actually enjoy being able to give to veterans and if we are gruff or just odd it’s more acceptable on that day and we all related better.

 

Weekend of Nov 19th & 20th, 2016

Things didn’t work out well with planning again. My friends don’t seem to understand my need for planning and making it happen. I really look forward to planned events. I’ve had a project in mind for years and years, M.C. Escher tessellated lizards made from clay, kilned to beautiful colors. The guy I’ve been planning this with is an “artist” in the sense that schedules are foreign. It’s OK for him, but bumming me out because this project could’ve happened. I’m starting to look for open ceramic classes now.

So that Saturday was spent shopping with Jessica, covered Costco, Home Depot and Target and got nearly everything written down and other things that should have been on the list. It was a good day.

Sunday, very cold Viking style disc golf with the Jingles Crew. Oodles of fun, I got ahead of the entire group by more than 20 Jingles. When one gets a lead that big, they have to throw two drives and play from the worst, the best part was my better drives were¬†better than the entire group of six now playing against me (and they get to¬†play from that spot). So for several holes, I’d play my worst drive and 6 people would play from my better drive. Very challenging. The golf wasn’t even the best part of Sunday. Bridget came down to visit, well actually clean my bathroom, and wow is it shiny now… Thank you B. She was well compensated and took some hand me down clothes as well. It was nice having her around, and not just for the cleaning!

Frank’s Caper

“Hey Ma, Aunt Alice you seen Bert lately?”

“Sure, yah, he just took off for the Nedermyer’s for an early dinner, what’re you up to now?”

“No time to explain, gotta set this score up now!”

Bert, bert hold up. Glad I caught ya before you made your appearance. I got this thing I wanna do and need your help.

Yo Lil Frankie, not now bro they may start dinner without me.

Bert this is the big score, I can feel it. I pull this job right, it’ll net me a home of my own.

But what’s wrong with Mom’s place? Decent food, no… well food at least, plus warm and dry.

Too crowded, my own place is what I’ve been working for, come on ya gotta help me and it won’t take long to set up.

What do you want me to do this time.

Still got some of those lower echelon criminals in your thrall?

Sure.

Aw come on Bert, if I had your skills I’d be even fatter and already have my own place. You tell em what to do and whammo it gets done.

Frankie most folks aren’t as stupid as you think, I ask for favors, make recommendations, report observations, I don’t coerce. People know they’ve been pushed, no more salmon dinner invites, kapich?

Kapich? Really? Kapich. We’re what, sixth generation Italian-Americans living in the midwest and you pull out a kapich. Just tell some wretch the Twodogs house is empty tonight and they usually leave the basement back door open. They’ll be out past midnight, and stone drunk when home. Just tell him that and every thing will work itself out.

Tonight? It’s not like I can just walk up to them and force the thought on them, they need to be asleep, drunk or high, but not high on stimulants. Those crazy dudes won’t wait until tonight, they’ll head straight over. How are you sure?

Thought listening, with some folks I can even do it from the street, just casually walking by, and then by again. And who notices, I still look like an adolescent, and if I don’t look interested in anything at all, folks ignore me. Teenager’s, ta-da!

So what’s going to happen?

The goon’s gonna trapse through the backyard gate, get scared off by at least one the gun’s being shown off last night, and then run away. Leaving the back gate open, and opportunity.

Just wait here Frankie, I should be back within shortly.

Wow, that really didn’t take long at all. You really think it’s set?

No problem, found Gitchy Twinkerbell sacked out in his mother’s living room, no one else home. Did my little thing, and he’ll wake raring to rob, pawn and love the nightlife. Cuz he’s got to boogie!

Wow, Alicia Bridges, bad, bad. Just one more bad it may have made it’s way back around to good. But no, just really bad.

Well, I’m off to the Nedermyer’s. May crash there as well, let Ma know. And keep me posted, you really didn’t tell me the take, Goodnight Frank.

Goodnight Bert.

 

I don’t remember how this was going to end!?

Blogging For Mental Health

I’ve finally addressed and am receiving treatment for my Anxiety/Depression and writing my thoughts has been recommended from various sources. My posts are most likely going to consist of random thoughts, little works of fiction and general griping about anything or nothing in particular.